Selected Nudes - 2021

STRUGGLE

 

 

Please

come home soon

I am hungry for a kiss of yours

 

Leave your jacket on

I want to be inebriated by its cold touch

while you caress my shivering skin

thus I forget to have been abandoned again

 

I watch you undressing

while I'm still naked and vulnerable

and a river

is rampaging down my cheek

it is not a good river

I sense it

 

I watch you peeling yourself

from the outer skin of yours

brewing a black coffee

it seems to me just like a poison

a juice made of intemperance

black waters that help you lying

while

I find myself thinking again,

the fish in the sea is never to be caught

through the promise of a lure

false thing

 

You take another sip and watch me back

from the table

the one table I told you not to stain

right before earthquakes of you

have shaken my body and my soul

and other rivers and volcanoes have exploded

on my skin and

on my back and

in within me

 

I have been me and abandoned

I have been struggling with myself

Now I get it

yes

now I understand

You don't want

to see me

so I

will change into another me

another version of this vessel

yes, true

why didn't I

think of it before

I have been me and abandoned

Now I am another one and you're back

It was just one little change

one small metamorphosis of Self

to let you see me in another light?

 

I

have changed

for you

You're here

here and well

but still

my cheek

is still being rampaged

by that cursed river

.